"The stars are threshed, and the souls are threshed from their husks."

Thursday, February 15, 2007

Hedgehog Recipes

How I make Hedgehogs

Or, feed a hedgehog on medicinal herbs, nuts, and berries. They will take parts of the medicine into their flesh. After the hedgehog is grown, cure it in a bottle of whiskey, and cut off small portions when feeling unwell.

Or, do as the Romans did, encase the hedgehog in plaster and bake at a high heat. After it is done, smash the plaster. The force will shatter the bones and spines of the hedgehog and leave only the meat, which you then pick out.


I met a hedgehog in Kilkenny. Olga was napping in a hostel and I took a walk along the stone walls and around the river of the haunts of my ancestors. We're rolling hill people. It was just before dusk and I was perhaps a half mile out of town. I heard a rustling, spotted the spiny devil nosing out grubs in a pile of leaves, and slowly, oh so slowly, walked closer to it until I could almost touch it. I looked at the hedgehog until it was too dark to see.


At 6:57 AM, Blogger Galen said...

It is amazing in how many cases “do as the Romans did” is an insanely bad idea.

Bathing using oil and a squeegee? Inhuman annihilation of one’s enemies? Killing one of every ten soldiers as punishment for loss (the literal meaning of decimation)? The Colosseum? …

Keeping order? Wine? Roads? Trade? …

… The Aqueduct…

Ok, so they did some good things too.

Their method of Hedgehog cooking, however, seems… We exactly like you would expect from builders and engineers. “What’s that thing? Think we could eat it? … Well…, how about we incase it in plaster first, just for kicks?”

I’d love to see that reenacted on Rome, the HBO series. Too bad it is cancelled.

I’m off for a bag of otters’ noses.

At 9:32 AM, Blogger Anna said...

"No hedgehogs were harmed in the making of this historical documentary."

At 7:32 AM, Blogger WordWrestler said...

The staff at St. Tiggywinkle's would like a word with you, sir.

At 6:39 AM, Blogger Galen said...

I think I just got a cavity. Bacteria are kind of cute.

"Wee and cavorting beasties" or "multifarious very little animacules aswimming"? You make the call!

It's all in the spin.

Also, 7am, my head looks much more like it was cloned from a hedgehog than that guy's ever could.

It's a point of pride.

At 7:14 AM, Blogger Whim said...

St. Tiggywinkle's eh... where do you think I get my supply? Some are fattened for the wild, some for the table.

As far as talkin shit on the Romans.

They didn't invent wine, they simply ordered its cultivation in conquered territory. When borderlands became too wealthy and powerful from the production, soldiers tore out hundreds of miles of vines. Their roads allowed them to move armies more quickly and amass more wealth from foreign trade, and they can keep their filthy order.

The Aqueduct is kinda cool, but they stole the idea from the Persians anyway.

"Romanes eunt domus!"

At 8:07 AM, Blogger Galen said...

Hey, we all know it is not about who invents a thing, it is about who forces it down everyone's throat the hardest, and in this contest the Romans win.

Also, as far as wine goes, they did narrow the definition, creating what we call wine now. No milk. No Wheat. No Urine (thank god). Just pure rotten grape juice! Thanks Romans!

At 3:48 AM, Anonymous Baba said...

People should read this.


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